Running

"...Don't let me fall out of love..."  "...Don't make me want to give up..."

Well  don't they seem useless now? They do to me. 

You promised me to always be by my side, and where are you now? Exactly. You have no idea how much i try to kill this urge to just text you or to as merely call you just so i can know you are thinking of me. The truth is i take two steps forward but i'll run back ten steps. and i don't know why it has taken so long. I just want you to hold me like those summer nights when we would drift off into our own little world, and just look into each others eyes. how many countless hours did we spend together? It didn't matter, because we were together. Now i have to wait five hundred and two days to find out if you still love me. And honestly i don't think my heart will last. But until then i'll celebrate once a month and once a year i'll allow myself to cry. I see that facade you carry around, and i hate it, i don't see your smile anymore. Do you even know how that feels? To love someone so much and every time you see them all you see is nothingness, not a drop of emotion. You can't tell if they are happy nor if they are going through pain. Well i cant say time hasn't came without progress, because at least i don't cry myself to sleep anymore. I don't writhe in the pain of what could have been. I don't lurk into the darkest corners of my heart. I guess i have turned into that heartless person you know me as.