Why do i feel like this? I feel so claustrophobic and yet i'm so lonely. I can't help but to doubt if i will ever truly be happy, if i will ever see that light at the end of this tunnel. Why cant i ever reach the surface, take that deep breath i need. I need his affection, he makes things easier. He's been my secret for almost seven months now. I don't even have the courage to tell my closest friend, let alone tell him how i feel. I can't even thank him for finally making me laugh, for finally making me smile. For helping me piece my heart together, and asking for nothing in return. He has been nothing but kind to me, and i'm such a coward that i can't even tell him that he is my muse, that i, with whats left of my heart, like him. I feel so low, but i know he would never allow that, his heart is so grateful, and it has so much love to give. I want to be the one to receive all that he has to give. To be in his arms is merely a dream i can't seem to ever make reality. And it breaks me up inside that i will never have the courage to tell him how i feel, if only he could see whats inside my heart. Only if he could see that the strong flame i hold is because of him. That he created such a beautiful thing out of ashes. He picked me up at my lowest, and i cant help but cry at the fact that out of all the people it was him who spent his time on me, and helped me out. He could have told me to get over it, and grow up. But he listened and took the time to piece me back together. And now that summer is coming and school is ending i'm afraid i may lose him, that i will lose myself.